15 Things Your Dance Teacher Thinks, But Never Says

Jakub Rybicki

Dance teachers are humans too (no, we’re actually aliens who were sent to earth to make it a better place), and all humans have thoughts. When your dance teacher gives a typical “It was okay…” or “Oh, your lockstep was so much better”, sometimes the thoughts don’t exactly match their spoken words. After this, you, probably, will not look at your dance teacher the same way again. Just remember that their thoughts and intentions are coming from a good place.

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PS. Keep in mind, this fine list has been created by spy dance teachers to shed light to the dance public, of the existence of secret society of Dance-Teacher-Thinkers. It should be kept as a secret, away from the reach of other dance teachers, and used only for personal “against-your-dance-teacher” conspiracy plan.

Jakub Rybicki
Jakub Rybicki

I love MY students!
I love ALL students! But your Feather Step, just right now, was absolutely DISGUSTING!

Your dedication, your talent, and your drive…
All make me want to give you a big hug! That’s after you do this move 20 more times…

Sometimes, you do stuff that bugs me…
And, I want you to stop that! You can start this by repeating the move, we have been sitting on, another 3-hundred-gazillion times.

Why did you apologize?!?!
You’re in the middle of a routine and you perceived you didn’t do something you were supposed to do, and now you say “I’m sorry”? It is really nice that you apologized, but your apology won’t really help you master your hip action in the cuban rocks.

You are voluntarily telling me you didn’t practice…
Pfff! You know, you could have really tried saying something insanely clever like: “I plead the 5th”, or “I’ve had this insane blister on my pinky toe for the past two days”! But, don’t just ‘fess up to not even spending 2 minutes working on your Posture, Rumba walks, or that damn Oversway. C’mon!

Jakub Rybicki
Jakub Rybicki

Don’t practice at home!
Honestly, you’re gonna screw it all up and I’ll need to fix it anyways.

Sure. Blame us for NOT winning at a competition.
Boo-hoo, you danced the best you could and you still didn’t win. Does that mean you’re learning the wrong stuff? No. Does that mean you have more to work on? Yes. But there are a million other reasons you haven’t placed how you’d like.

When you’re at the comp and your nerves are kicking in … just … OMMMM.
Don’t know what you need at a comp (psychologically, physically, emotionally), but what I need, is everyone to stay the hell away from me, while I have my headphones on, as I’m stretching out and doing mental run-throughs in the corner. Maybe, you should do the same.

Forget everything you know the day we take coaching with a celebrity coach.
“What? I’m supposed to take a toe lead on 3? I’ve never heard that before!” Please … just nod, smile and move dance your butt off. We will go over everything again later.

I can’t really do the stretches I am telling you to do myself.
So… just do what I say.

Jakub Rybicki
Jakub Rybicki

Stop over-analyzing what I’m telling you to do!
Even though, the exercise/movement/stretch you have to do right now might sound stupid and you can’t see the end game, JUST DO IT! Stop arguing with me about it and rationalizing why it’s hard. Remember the “Karate Kid” movie? Wax On, Wax Off. You’ll see Why later.

Stop stopping!
Keep circling the studio doing Rumba walks with us barking at you, until we say “Stop”. Keep doing your routine, until we roll you out for a bow. If you think, that doing something a few times will make you know it, I’m here to burst your bubble. We dancers need to do do do and not so much think think think or talk talk talk.

Just, trust us!
If you really believe your teacher is up to no good, you should probably start shopping for a new pro. I AM up to good things for you, since there is no glory in holding you back, giving you bad information, or steering you wrong.

You can talk to me. And, I will listen.
Even though you think it’s way easier NOT to tell me, and complain to other students or teachers, that you don’t think “you should be working on your topline right now”; “everyone else seems to be working on adding new choreography”; or “there’s a spot on the floor that, you swear, is cursed”, I would still urge you to try. If you consider coming directly to me with your problems and complaints, we will probably solve them a lot faster, and keep our awesome relationship unscathed.

No, I don’t care if you teach other students.
However, I do care if our lesson-place is usurped. If you decided to add a new trick that you saw on YouTube, or you think this connection should be “like this”, let me do the honours of breaking down our dance issue, and fixing it. As far as I know, you pay me for my greater knowledge and not just my pretty face. Sure, you can take over, but then, attaining your dance goals might take a bit longer. Just sayin’.

Keep in mind, We Love You Guys. (Just, stop doing these things, m’kay?)

Author Collaboration: Kate Bratt [Riot & Frolic] & Egor Shalvarov
Exclusively for Dance Comp Review